Queen of Eagles: Weightloss, Food and Life

New Season, New Clothes

2011-09-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

How often do you go through your things in your wardrobe? Frankly, I rarely do it. Mum is usually the one who takes care of my wardrobe. She's like an obsessed sales assistant going through the rails, passing her hand down each item, making sure it's hanging straight and possibly not excessively touching the item next to it. Even if I'm the one who hangs them after she irons them, she still checks how I would have hung them, telling me off if she finds something that doesn't please her. I'm sure she would make an excellent supervisor in a clothes shop given the opportunity. Having said that, I have made it a point that every year before school starts I go through all my clothes and donate or chuck away any which I don't wear anymore. Last year was the first time ever that I did the clothing purge. Mum nearly fainted when she saw the piles of clothes on the bed, ready to be placed in bin bags. She couldn't understand why I did not want to keep jumpers I had had since Form 1. I argued that since I hadn't worn them for about five years, not even to slouch around at house in, I was sure I wasn't going to wear them in future. Eventually she had to give in.

This year I set my mind on clearing out my wardrobe and keeping only those clothes which I wear. Last year I lost 20 kilos and still continued wearing several items I had from when I was still big. The result? I looked dowdy. This year I vowed I'm not going to wear a size 16 jacket when I'm a 12, not even if I layer on three jumpers and a huge woollen scarf. It was hard letting go because it was my favourite red jacket from NEXT, but it fits mum perfectly and still is nearly brand new so she's taking it. There were items which were still perfectly good but they reminded me too much of who I was and how I felt when I looked at myself in the mirror all those years, so straight to the 'Banished' pile they went. Needless to say, I felt relieved when I had finished .

I'm in need of a new wardrobe now so today I went shopping. I got two pairs of skinny jeans from Zara in blue and green, a brown leather jacket from Miss Selfridge, two pairs of leggings in purple and turqoise from Stradivarius, a white t-shirt and a blue and red striped one from Peacocks, a lovely mustard and navy dip back top from New Look and a pair of NEXT training pants to replace the Nike ones my German Shepherd puppy ripped apart. I bought some lovely jewellery as well because I never seem to have enough. :D I'll be going shopping again next Monday but this time with my mum as sometimes I have to have a second opinion on certain clothes and I need to buy boots as well because my feet shrank from a size 40 to a 39. Weird, I know.

This seems like it's going to be a lovely autumn. I'm ready to take on every challenge which comes my way, the first one being continuing on the road towards my target weight :D xxxxxxx Mari'

Time to kick-start the health regime again

2011-08-17T05:51:00.000-07:00

How many times has it happened to you when you bury your head under the pillow never wanting to come out from under it again? It has happened quite a few times to me this year, well to be truthful, a lot. It might be hard to pull yourself together after a few hard blows from Life and that is exactly what happened to me this year. I lost all interest in working out and cooking. I thought I had more important things to do in life but then I realised I wasn't feeling happy with myself at all. All the dark shadows started clouding my soul again, thoughts nagged me throughout the day and the buttons on my clothes screamed at me for making them battle with the holes. It's time for a peace treaty again and I realised that a few days ago.

I sat down and thought that I had already done the weightloss/workout thing so there is no reason I can't do it again. The key to success? Elementary (or so it should be): Cooking healthy dishes and working my butt off. On August 16 I started my health regime again: 45mins on a treadmill (it's still too hot to walk outside in Malta) + cooking for myself. I'll start weighing myself again on September 1st.

I'll post the pictures of what I cooked yesterday and today. I eat my main meal at noon or in the early afternoon.

August 16: Pistachio encrusted salmon on a bed of spinach, onions and sweetcorn dressed in a fine herbs vinaigrette.

August 17: Chicken breast with rosemary and balsamic glaze with roasted vegetables and a hardboiled egg yolk.

February is here again...

2011-02-03T00:23:00.000-08:00

I'm not feeling really well today because I'm worried about a minor operation I have to go in for this afternoon. However, the good news is that I have lost nearly a kilogram in a week. I'm very happy as even my present clothes are getting looser and it won't be long now before I will have to go and buy a pair of size 12 trousers for work. YAY!

I've done lots of exercise this past week and have eaten healthily as well. I plan what I cook each day from beforehand. This is the only way in which I can eat a nutritious main meal at work, which usually involves protein and veggies.

There is not much else I would like to say for this week so here is my weight pic:

100g by 100g the 70kg mark is inching closer

2011-01-27T00:05:00.000-08:00

Another week has gone by and I'm happy to say that I've made some changes in my life. They're small, I admit, but they're helping me achieve the ultimate goal. The first change is that I got my butt off the chair and started exercising four times a week. I have to start inserting an exercise slot during the weekend as well. The weather hasn't been so great and as it is so humid it can get really painful powerwalking near the fields. However, I hope that the weather conditions will improve shortly.

Second change: adding a scoop of protein to my breakfast. It tastes delicious, helps keeping me fuller for longer, boosts my metabolism and gets me ready to face the day. My breakfast: a third of a cup of quick oats, hot water, scoop whey protein and some natural honey to sweeten. Delicious!

Third change: Cooking lunch for school. It's winter time and it's so cold so I don't really appreciate cold salads at this time of the year. I have started cooking my own lunch and eating it at school. It helps me control the snacking and stops me from feeling ravenous when I go back home. Then I have a snack at 4pm and a small dinner at 7pm.
Luch ideas: Roasted vegetables + smoked salmon; mushroom omelette; soup with 2 crackerbreads; baked vegetable quiche.
If you need to eat a portion of complex carbs during the day, this is the time to do so.

I feel less bloated and much happier. I have increased my intake of water as it helps a lot and I'm taking a multivitamin + multimineral supplement and Vitamin E. The good thing is that at work we have one of those hot/cold water dispensers so I top cold water with some hot water in winter. I'll start strength training this week to tone my muscles more. Bit by bit I'm getting there :D

My weight this week:

Hope you have a happy, healthy week.

Maria xxx

The Start of the 2011 Weightloss Challenge

2011-01-20T08:52:00.000-08:00

After my last post I spent a week recovering and getting my strength back. I ate wholesome food and did not really think about my food intake. I was determined to be healthy again. Needless to say I put on a little weight, but considering that I had lost 5kg during my illness it was unavoidable. I started power walking again this week and I have officially begun my 2011 weightloss challenge just like last year. I want to do it on my own without any weekly weigh-ins at my place of work or entering weightloss competitions with my colleagues. I've done it once and I can do it again. After all this is for my own good and I want to focus on my body and my health in general.

I'll start taking a scoop of whey protein with my oatmeal for breakfast as from next week. Looking up some articles about whey protein, I was surprised with how much one can benefit from incorporating this protein in one's diet. I'm also grateful to my mother who is everyday waking up a little earlier to cook my lunch for me so that I can eat a healthy meal at work. She heard me saying that I was fed up of eating fruit at work and she came up with the idea of me taking cooked food. She's an angel.

I will also be posting weekly pictures of my weight just like last year. Today I weighed in at 74.9kg. I can't wait for the day when the scale shows 65kg :D

Start of 2011: 74kgs

2011-01-09T10:21:00.000-08:00

A new year has started and considering that's it's been a year since I started this blog I went back to my first post and I realised that I kept all 5 resolutions I had made. Looking back, 2010 was a great year for me. I discovered a new me and I found how much more confident I can be, weighing nineteen kilograms less.

I've started this year with a fever and a glandular infection. In total I've spent 10 days sick in bed, barely able to eat or drink. I lost all the weight I piled on during Christmas (some 3 kgs) plus an extra 2 kgs. I now weigh 74kgs and am back to my weightloss challenge. I still need to lose about 8 more kilograms. I slipped into a pair of size 12 skinny jeans this morning. I'm still very weak from my illness but was still happy that for the first time ever in my life I could do up a pair of size 12 jeans. I couldn't believe it! My waist looked so tiny and I did not have a clue of a muffin top so it was a true fit.

I have in mind to do what I did last year. A challenge from now up until Easter. I have to lose the last 8 kilograms. Will I manage it? After having lost 19 kilograms I sure hope so...

Stretching muscles, money and meals ;)

2010-11-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

This month it's all about stretching. I have come to a point in my life where stretching has become essential in various aspects.

1. Stretching muscles: Sweet lemonpuffs! :DD It feels sooo good! I have started stretching each morning before I go to work and it really wakes me up and gets me ready to face a thousand students at once. To be honest, I had always hated stretching because it hurt a great deal. Now, I feel taller and more energetic. It is important to stretch before and after doing any sort of exercise so that one minimises the risk of injury and sore muscles afterwards.

2. Stretching money: I was brought up in the world of business. Money management is something my father taught me. Yet, I still found it a bit difficult to manage my finances well when I started getting a salary; sadly, credit cards don't help. Eventually things got better and ever since I've started keeping records of what I spend, I am more able to point out when and where I tend to overspend. I now spend money according to priorities. It's not the first time that I find myself wondering, "Do I really need another eyepencil/cute keychain/fancy mug/scarf?" If the answer is an honest yes, then I buy it. However I still shop around to see from where I can get a better bargain. Saving Eur10 on a similar product will either make you end up with an extra Eur10 in your account at the end of the month, or leave you with enough money to be able to go to the cinema and watch the latest release. Believe me, it's good to know where your money's going, whether you're frittering it away or saving up.

Stretching meals: Tired of thinking about what to cook? Need to lose weight but can't be arsed to put a pan on the cooker? Then it's simple: stretch your meals. If you roast chicken on Sunday use any leftovers the following day to make some wholemeal chicken sandwiches, a healthy chicken salad or a hearty chicken stir fry. If you're making vegetable soup, deepfreeze some of it in small portions and you'll have ready homemade meals for when you fancy some soup. Then toast some bread et voila'. The same goes for tomato sauce; then you won't have to spend ages blanching tomatoes and simmering them away, each time. A little bit of common sense can make our life much easier.

I hope that this post has helped you in some way. All I can say now is Stretch, Stretch, Stretch. :D

Down with the flu...

2010-10-19T01:31:00.000-07:00

Sipping some fresh orange juice from a tall glass, I click back to some articles I've been reading about vitamins and minerals while I'm sick in bed. I had never really given a thought to the actual amounts of vitamins and minerals that enter my body each day. I now know that this is of extreme importance as both lack and excess of these can have several effects on our bodies.

As you all know, I have lost about seventeen kilograms on a healthy, balanced diet. However I must have done something wrong somehow. Six weeks ago my boyfriend pointed out that my hair was thinning on the front part of my crown. It has always been fine and prone to damage but this time I could see that he was right. I sought out medical advice, had some blood tests taken and when it was established that I had everything within normal range, I had to accept the fact that I had given my hair a shock because of the diet. Top that with some stress and you have thinning hair as a result.

I'm now applying a product each day to the scalp to stimulate circulation. I'm already seeing some results but it will take a whole two months to record an evident progress. I'm not applying heat to my hair and will wait some time before I go in for colour. No tight pony tails, no scraped back hair and no harsh products applied. Loose chignons, tumbling locks and a natural curly look is the way for me to go in order to restore my hair's strength and health.

We have started the Weightloss Challenge back at work from October until December (9 weeks approx.) I decided to go for it again but this time I am in no hurry to shed the last 10 kilos in a short time. I need to have my body adjust to my shrinking figure and this time round I'm not taking any risks: a multivitamin + multimineral supplement intake is a must.

Next Thursday I am going out for dinner with some old school friends. Friday is weighing day. Same old question: What am I going to eat? Simple. I surfed the net for the restaurant's website and I found their menu. They seem to have a good selection of salads and I think I will go for the Aquarius Salad: smoked salmon + prawns on a bed of mixed greens. I don't seem to be able to digest a big meal in the evening anymore so a salad will suit me fine. If others have a pizza I will just keep in mind that I will have mine as well...in December :P Once you get used to the idea and you decide beforehand what you will be eating it won't be as difficult. You have to remember that what you're doing is for yourself and no one else.

Check out some links on vitamins + minerals and which food they are found in:

http://www.healthchecksystems.com/vitamins.htm#Minerals

http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/healthydiet/nutritionessentials/vitaminsandminerals/

http://www.mcvitamins.com/Vitamins/vitamins-in-food.htm

http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/vitamins-and-minerals-good-food-sources

Back to School Time

2010-09-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

5pm and I'm having a yoghurt with roasted sunflower seeds. I must admit that these seeds taste sooooooo good. Unfortunately, I ran out of skimmed cow's milk and had to top up my cup of tea with mum's light soya milk. I'm not too keen on the taste so I guess I'll go back to my regular milk.

What I really wanted to write about today is the back to school period. It always was my favourite time of the year when I was still a student: new diary, new pencil case, new pens, new books, new topics to study and so on. The old things always gave me comfort when I was nervous about the new scholastic year: old schoolbag, old school uniform, old shoes, old teachers and old friends. :D I went to a small secondary church school where everyone knew everybody else and my friends remained in my same class for years. I always found it difficult to make new friends, maybe because I had really low self-esteem. Even when I went to Junior College and then to University, I always stayed with nearly the same people. Looking back I can see that it was not really a good idea not to get to know any of the others in my course. I could have really learned from them. On the other hand I've made some friends for life :D

In a way my school days have passed, but I still get to get back to secondary school year after year because I chose to be an English teacher, or better, an educator. I always wanted a job where I am constantly in touch with young people and I was always a natural at teaching so here I am. There are some aspects though which do worry me sometimes. I have to be aware all the time that whatever I do, say, write, wear, might forever influence a student. Pretty huge responsibility, huh? I remember that we would scrutinize each teacher from head to toe each day and pass judgement. Some of my friends even came up with a few nicknames: Ms. Hips, Jackson 5, Potato Rotato... I hated nicknames for teachers even then. I do remember though that I had always been fascinated by my English language and literature teacher, even though most of the others hated her. This tall, slim, dark-haired, pale skinned woman was one I always looked up to. She was extremely intelligent, and although very strict she knew exactly how to transmit the passion she had for literature. That's how I came to love my Shakespeare, my Blake, my Masefield, my Durrell and my Golding. This lady, who could very well be a top model because of her looks, was the one teacher who inspired me to become a dedicated teacher trying to pass on some of my love for literature to my Maltese students.

Back to school... a dreaded time for some, a special week for me.

Summer is nearing its end

2010-09-08T01:29:00.000-07:00

I realised that I've been neglecting this blog for a long time. It's no wonder then that I haven't progressed much with my weight loss. At the end of June I had gotten down to 76kg but with the maintenance mode I went into through summer I went up to 78kg. Grrrrrrrrrrr. Ok, ok, ok, I KNOW! It's my fault that I haven't been able to resist a lot of summer goodies and thank God I compensated that with a lot of swimming. It is too hot here in Malta to go for walks in the afternoon and I am no early riser so that was out of the question for me. I've started walking again this week, seriously this time. I either go at about 7:30am (that's as early as I can manage), or else in the late afternoon, 6:30ish.

It's time to get back on track and reflect again on what where my goals at the start of this year. I want to get down to a healthy weight, wear size 12 clothes and be comfortable in my skin. I'm halfway there, I'm determined to get to the finishing line and STAY THERE. Maintaining the same weight is not a difficult job. After all that's what I've been doing all summer. One still has to make the right choices and eat moderately. I've had the occasional pizza, burger or pasta with creamy white sauce; but I made sure to cut back on other things which would otherwise spell disaster for my calorie intake.

September 2010 - let's get started again. We have from now till December to get back in shape for the Christmas festivities (and new clothes as well :P)

Love

Eagle Queen xxx

2010-05-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

this is my reading for last Friday. I'm pretty pleased but I know that I didn't put in much effort so I'm making up for it now. I started training again today and I immediately realised how much I have missed the feeling it gives me. It puts me in a good mood and I feel energised.

I was invited to a wedding on Saturday and to be honest I was really scared at the prospect of all that food around me. I would be lying if I said that I did not give in to temptation. I simply couldn't resist some of the food that was going round and to top it off they had great rose' wine. It was a small wedding, a great reception and we had fun. The next day, I did not eat any extras to compensate for what I had eaten the previous night. My objectives are not only that I lose weight and gain a slimmer figure, but that I learn from experience and become able to make choices for myself regarding my diet and lifestyle. Social events like weddings will crop up unexpectedly but one cannot let such events ruin one's diet. If you, like me, are not so strong a person when it comes to saying no to certain finger food, then it is important that you prepare yourself for it. Eat lightly or have food with few calories the rest of the day and then have your glass of wine or finger food as your weekly treat. However make sure that the treat does not spill over to the next day or the days after that.

Can't wait for June to come so that I can go swimming :D

2010-05-15T05:50:00.000-07:00

Spinach, egg, smoked salmon - this is what I had as lunch today. I had already eaten my Saturday bread allowance as a weekly treat so I needed something light which would get me through the laborious chore of washing my black car turned white. As I help my father at the shop on Saturdays and this entails more physical work than my teaching job, I'm usually very tired by the time I arrive home and can't be bothered to cook. Before I started my diet, Saturday lunch would typically be Tortellini with ham and white sauce/grilled sausages, nuggets, fried egg + bread/Pizza etc. Now I'm much wiser than that and I avoid those things as much as I can. I've just discovered a chest freezer full of frozen vegetables in my garage. That's going to be my best friend for the next two weeks. I'll try and cook for myself as much as I can because I've been relying too much on my lovely mum.

I don't really feel proud of myself this week. 1) I didn't exercise and 2) I got a little bit relaxed with my diet. 1) it was too hot to exercise in the afternoon in Malta. So what I've decided to do is start sleeping at 10pm and wake up at 5:30am to go power-walking. It's going to be tough but I've come this far and I don't intend to give up. 2) I didn't really plan so there were days when I ate less and days when I ate more than I should. I didn't really lose any weight so I need to sit down and plan for next week especially since I'm going to be out a lot in the afternoons and need to prepare snacks or fruit to take with me. I have to buy a dress for a wedding I've been invited to and I plan on taking my -15kg photo in it. I can't wait :D

I'm going clubbing tonight but no alcohol for me except maybe a Martini Rosso towards the end. The rest of the time I'll drink water and dance the night away ;)

Some small but great changes I've noticed this week:
1. My double chin is gone (thank God for that)
2. Makeup is much easier to apply as my cheeks are more defined and my eyes no longer puffy.
3. I can sprint up the stairs in our shop laden with a heavy box. I could never have done that before.

Going down the 70s...

2010-05-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

I should be ashamed of myself! A month has passed and I didn't post a thing. Well, the big news is that I continued losing, weight that is :) I'm now down to a 78.7kg and that means that I'm 200g away from the 14kg mark. People have started really noticing now and instead of giving it all up and starting eating erratically again like I used to do, it serves me as an encouragement to continue fighting the flab. Some people at work have started losing weight as well due to that weightloss challenge that we started. I feel proud that they are happier with themselves, mainly because I know that I served as an inspiration in the first place. It's good to know that you've helped someone even if not directly.

I went shopping for some clothes this week because all my trousers were too big for me. I was a size 16 bordering on 18 bottom and a size 14 top. I fit in size 14 trousers now and buy size 12 t-shirts. I didn't buy a lot of clothes because I know that by end of June I might be needing a smaller size. I dug out my old jeans and found that I could easily slip into them and do the button up without having to suck in my stomach. I swear that if I could I would have levitated with joy.

I know that I won't be reaching my target of 65kg any time soon because weightloss has slowed down. I am aiming at 70kg to see how I would look like and I can't wait for June to come so that I can start going swimming after work and get a good cardio and toning exercise. I look back at last December and realise that I have come a long way and still have quite a bit to go. I've lost 14kg/31lbs/2st 3lbs and gained a lot of energy which sometimes makes me feel hyper. It makes you feel like you can conquer the world. Gone is my back pain and the fatigue in my calves. I can now sprint up the stairs while my students are still huffing and puffing their way up, lugging their bags behind them. Last week a student asked me how come I wasn't out of breath after going up three flights of stairs. I just smiled to myself.

I'm halfway there and I'm sure that a lot of you out there can do the same. Let me be cheesy here and in a Slimming magazine tone tell you: If I can do it, you can do it too. How many times did I read that sentence in my teens when I was going through my mother's slimming magazines? I always admired those slim women who had found the courage to turn their lives around. A decade later it's finally me who is in possession of two sets of photos: the 'fat' ones and the 'getting slimmer' ones. When I finally reach target I will try and post a before and after one. It would be a nice reminder.

78.7kgs - 173.5lbs - 12st 5.5lb

Three Months Have Passed...

2010-04-01T03:22:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that three months have passed since I started my diet and weightloss regime. Three months in which I have undergone a major change both physically and psychologically. I've never felt better in my entire life and knowing that I have achieved so much fills me with pride. I never did anything for myself before which would actually change me. Studying for and passing from exams was always a piece of cake so there was no challenge in that. Cutting down my food portions and exercising REGULARLY...now that was where my life challenge lay. What amazes me is that it feels so easy now, almost like a routine. I wonder why on earth I never did it before. Deep down I know that I have a load of people to thank, primarily my work colleagues who with their advice and constant moral support helped me get through these first three months. From here I just have two words to tell you: THANK YOU :D xxx

Once I lost my first 10kgs, people started commenting on how well I look now. That was a great satisfaction for me. I usually blush because as soon as I hear those words, other people around me turn to take a good look at me and I hate all the attention. However, knowing that I inspired a group of other people to lose weight is the best recognition I could ever get. They're starting a weightloss challenge in my staffroom which will run from the start of April till end of May. I'm joining in too because I know that it's going to be fun losing my weight with a group of people I care for. It seems like it's going to be a serious thing because they also appointed a board of experts to give advice and support us. :D I can't help but smile at the idea.

I've lost a total of 11 kilos during the first three months of my diet which converts to a total of 24 pounds. I went easy on my diet and I lost slowly which is the best way to go. I still have around 16 kilos to lose but I'm not worrying too much. All I want to be is healthier and happier in shorts during the coming summer and all the summers after that. It would be ridiculous to say that there weren't days when I felt like quitting. During the month of March there were weeks when my weightloss stalled and I didn't know why. I was still eating healthily and exercising. Going over a sample of a daily food diary, a colleague of mine pointed out that I wasn't eating enough fats. So I inserted the fats again (nuts, olive oil, avocado etc) into my diet and my body started losing again. Never give up...try another way.

81.5kgs - present weight

Mari' xxx

The first milestone is nearing...

2010-03-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

At last I got the chance to post in here. Seriously, life's crazy at the moment!

I weighed myself yesterday and I'm down to 83.2kg. YYYYAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY

I'm looking forward to reach the first 10kg milestone. Only about another week to go!
Spirits are high right now so I hope to reach my first target next week and get down to 80kg by Easter. Fingers crossed!

Weigh in

2010-03-04T12:20:00.000-08:00

I stepped on the scales yesterday morning but did not manage to put the photo up until this evening. I'm down to 84.3kg and although I still lost weight from last week, it's not much. :(

I did not drink a lot of water today so I should be slapped for that. I'll have two glasses before I go to bed but not more as I don't want to end up waking up through the night to go to the bathroom :P

I hadn't planned to exercise today as I had to wash my car, and that is laborious exercise in itself considering that my car looked as if it had been doused in mud. However my cousin messaged me to go for a long walk with her and I couldn't refuse. I washed the car afterwards and now feel that I've done two good things for myself today instead of just one. :D

I'm off to bed soon because I had a really long day and I cannot keep my eyes open any longer.

A presto

Mari' xxx

Two months in!

2010-03-02T12:03:00.000-08:00

My greatest wish right now: waking up to a day of pampering without having to worry about work. Wouldn't that be a day to look forward to? :P

This is my ninth week of the diet and I just can't believe I have lasted this much. I don't even think of giving up because I feel so energetic and lively. I had tried to diet a number of times before and the longest I lasted was about 5 weeks before piling the weight straight back on again as soon as I started school again. The fact that I started working this year and I'm not as stressed as I was when I was still at university, contributes to the fact that I'm more relaxed about my diet now. One good point is that I don't get obsessed any more with losing weight each week. I just eat healthily and exercise; eventually the weight will drop off on its own.

So how did I exactly decide to start dieting? I laugh at the memory now but I realize that it was a moment of epiphany for me. It shook me to my core but it jostled me back to my senses, showing me the reality of what I had been doing to my body for three long years. I reflected on it for a week and then decided to take action. This is how it happened:

I was at a Christmas Eve 2009 party with my boyfriend and a group of friends. It was an open-bar party and there was plenty of finger food around. I couldn't resist and I drank way too much and ate all that was offered to me. Suddenly the waiter came round again with a tray of spring rolls. I had been eating all night and I was definitely not going to refuse a springroll dunked in a sweet chilli sauce. I took one and was about to take a bite when two of our male friends asked me if I was going to eat it. I nodded and one of them smirked. In a sarcastic tone he told me, "Eat it and you'll get even fatter than you already are. You won't pass through the door 'cause you'll get stuck." He continued to laugh derisively and I could feel the tears welling up inside me. I couldn't speak and just gave the spring roll to my boyfriend. I knew that that friend was drunk but what hurt me most was the fact that a person who knows me well but who is usually too shy to voice his real opinion, said what he really thought of me in a moment of drunkeness. I remember sitting outside on the pavement waiting for the minivan to come pick us up, and dissolving into tears. My boyfriend and my other friends couldn't understand why I was crying. They thought that I had drunk too much but it wasn't true. My feelings had been hurt and it took a week for them to heal. During that week I really thought about what I wanted for myself and questioned myself about whether I was really happy in my body. The answer was a straight NO. I had never been that heavy and I was feeling all sorts of physical aches and pains. I had been abusing my body with excess food and drink for years. I had to do something about it before it was too late.

New Year's Eve was my turning point, the day when I started my diet and I have never looked back since then. I thank that friend because although his words seemed cruel at the time, it was what it took to send me back on track. :)
I hope this post has helped you in some way or another. Will be back again soon with the weekly weigh-in xxx

Mari' xxx

Below the 85 mark!

2010-02-25T13:12:00.000-08:00

Two weeks have gone by and I didn't even step in here. Shame on me! These past three weeks were hard in terms of weight loss. I didn't lose much; I maintained my weight most of the time. Some colleagues told me it's because I've already lost a considerable amount of weight and so my body is stabilizing itself until it starts losing quickly again. I was impatient at first but realised that I still had to stick to my regime in order to get some sort of positive result at the end of this phase. I confess that I found it difficult to exercise due to the muscle pain I suffered after a particular intense session of Pilates. I picked up my exercise routine from where I left it today and I feel really good this evening.

I hit the 84.9kg mark today. I haven't been this weight since 2007 and I feel proud to have finally taken my weight issue seriously and doing something about it. My clothes fit better and I look more professional at work. Before, I used to feel frumpy but now things have changed. I feel like someone ready to conquer the world. Thoughts like this make me reflect even more on how much a diet conditions and affects a person's life. It is true that refined sugar makes one feel lethargic and that refined carbs are not of benefit to the body. Eliminating those is the first, great step towards a healthier lifestyle and believe me, after some time you'll stop craving them completely.

84.9kg = 187.2lb

Hope to lose more next week...

Love

Mari' xxx

Another week gone by...

2010-02-10T01:41:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how time is passing so quickly! This was my 6th week of the diet already. The more I think about it, the more I realise how much effort I should put in my diet as I can't waste any time until summer. I have to admit that at first it was hard but I'm learning to adjust the diet to my needs. It is important to incorporate all nutrients in my diet so that my body has enough fuel to continue functioning. More important is exercise and I can feel my calf and thigh muscles toning up nicely. I'm worried about stretchmarks and chicken wings at this stage. I'll have to start slapping on some cream and focus more on toning exercises for my upper arms.

I had written some points to write about in this post but typically I left them on my desk in the staffroom. I do remember the most prominent points though:

1. I ran my first 350m during a 1 hr power walk session. ( I had never run before!!!)I thought I was going to have a heart attack at the end but I'm still alive and kicking. :P

2. I started wearing clothes which either didn't fit me before or I really had to struggle to get into them. Last Saturday I wore a body con dress and the seams ran smoothly over my sides without any visible lumps, bumps or handles. I felt like a million Euros :P

3. I found my cheek bones again and blusher is much easier to apply now. I love the sharp definition I can give them without ending looking like a puffer fish. I still have to be careful with colour though as my face is still a bit too round.

People have started commenting on how slimmer I look. This would have sounded alarm bells in my head before but now I just take the compliments and delete them from my temporary memory immediately. I have to remind myself that although I look much better now than I did at the end of 2009, I still have a long way to go and until I achieve my goal I cannot stop. Believe me, it takes a lot of willpower especially when you're faced with a situation like your colleagues ordering Pizza Hut for lunch at work and filling your work place with the delicious smell. It is really hard but you have to grit your teeth and bear it or leave the room entirely, even if for a minute or two.

The word 'No' has to become your friend where junk food is concerned. It is your only ally and weapon to fight your war, because yes, a diet is not just a battle but it is an all out war against unhealthy food; old deposited fat; your friends and all those who tell you that you don't need to lose weight because being chubby means being healthy or cute. Most of all it is a war against that inner voice which is constantly telling you that one small bite of that muffin won't hurt and that choosing a greasy pizza over a salad won't matter because you only live once. I stopped saying that I'm on a diet to people who I know will continue forcing me to make unhealthy choices. I just say that I can't have that food because it's bad for me, and it's true. I won't be lying. You just need to have a certain tact with some people. I'd rather disappoint someone and not take a slice of the chocolate cake they offered than feeling guilty for eating it. At this point it is all about YOU and not others. You have to be selfish in order to succeed because you know how sad or guilty you were feeling about your body, about the years you wasted munching your way through the evening and never getting up to pound the streets. One has to stop calling it a 'diet' because it actually is a 'choice', YOUR choice.

Hope this helped :D

And now for the weekly weigh-in :D I'll be posting in kilograms as many Maltese people asked me to do so. I'll be writing the equivalent in pounds too :D

Wednesday 10th Feb: 86kg = 189.4lb

I lost a total of 6.5kg till now and I feel more motivated than ever to continue this challenge and journey in my life.

Someone told me I've got cute socks too. Hahaha!

I promise to write soon

Love

Mari' xxx

Aaaarrrghhhh!

2010-02-03T04:06:00.000-08:00

It's Wednesday and the last time I weighed myself was last Saturday. I know I should have left a week to weigh myself again but I wanted to get back to Wednesday weekly weigh-ins. I'm still the same weight as on Saturday so there is nothing to rejoice about. I'm suspecting that this happened because of two reasons:

1. I wasn't eating enough (yes, if one doesn't eat enough, one won't lose weight)
2. I'm not drinking any water (ALARM BELLS RINGING!!!) I need to start guzzling down that liquid of life again. (Hello WC! :/)

However there is one thing I'm happy about. I've been exercising willingly every day and I feel much lighter and more energetic. On Monday I wore my new tracksuit for the first time and it made me feel so happy. I think the colour had a part in it too because it's got a white jacket with bright green pants. I felt like Spring which in itself helped me put a spring in my stride :P

I have to get down to correcting exam papers now so I promise to write again soon and in the meantime I wish you to get fitter, healthier and happier. :D

Mari' xxx

Physical Exercise Overdose

2010-02-01T07:15:00.000-08:00

I feel so sore that I dread having to reach up for a coffee mug from the top cupboard. I have seriously pushed myself during the weekend and I can feel the consequences of such a strain on my muscles. Although I have been exercising for over a month now, I am still in pain and I'm somehow blaming the high level of humidity we have for it. Malta has always had this problem of humidity but this year it's unbearable. Hot showers seem to be the only cure but how many hot showers am I going to take in a day?

Last Saturday we went to Paceville, a town known for it's great nightlife, and we stayed there till the early hours of the morning. However, I did not drink one single unit of alcohol. I just took a glass of Coke Zero and that was it. I felt really proud afterwards. It's true that I was too self-conscious to dance as usual but I gained more than I could bargain for: I didn't wake up with a hangover; I didn't consume loads of calories; and I resisted for the first time in my life my friend Jack (whose surname is Daniels lol). Considering everything I felt much better at the end of the night and had a few laughs at how people behave when they're drunk.

I should be getting on with the notes about Jane Eyre and Lorna Doone for my students so I'll be posting again next Wednesday

Mari' xxx

Week 5 and the end of month 1

2010-01-29T14:34:00.000-08:00

Hi all!

Aaarggh! I have neglected this blog for two whole weeks but since I was sick and very busy at work I'm sure you will forgive me. I had to eat normally during week 4 on doctor's orders because I had really low blood pressure and I had to eat salty food + adding salt to my normal portion of food. Diet went a bit down the drain during that week but I was determined to continue during the next and surprise surprise on Monday I woke up sick again with the flu. I just couldn't believe my luck!
I had been avoiding stepping on the scales for fear that I would see the numbers creeping up to a former weight. However, I couldn't put it off any longer and so this morning I woke up and stepped on them. I couldn't believe my eyes:

191.6lb = 86.9kg

This means I lost 11.6lb in a month which approximately adds up to 5.4kgs :D I'm quite happy with this result but I'm determined to continue losing more weight in February so that I reach the 83kg target by the end of February. I'm taking it slowly and making sure that I eat a little bit of everything because I know that if I don't do it like this I won't be able to keep it up for long. Gone are the days when I would starve and pity myself because I'm fat. I'm just focusing on being healthy and enjoying life. I never thought I would actually enjoy power walking! I used to come from university, plop down in front of the tv and munch my way through all the tv programs on at the time. It is now a different story: I come from work, eat a quick snack, change quickly into my tracksuit, stick in the earphones and walk briskly out the door with Lady Gaga screaming in my ears.

This is not to say that I have completely gone off chocolate or anything which is temptation to me. I went out for a cuppa with my Tigru this evening and while I ordered an innocent cup of tea, he ordered a black coffee together with a crepe filled with Nutella and Smarties. This didn't bother me at all until he was eating the last bit of the crepe and Nutella was oozing out of it. I could smell the tantalizing scent of chocolate and, like a vampire yearning thirstily for a potential victim, I eyed that melting chocolate which was dripping onto the paper cone. I drew Tigru's attention at it and what do you think he just did? He did not lick it like I would have done, or tried his best to save it from oozing out completely. He continued to scrape it off with the edge of the paper cone and put it aside with the rest of the rubbish. I just couldn't believe my eyes! Then I realised that only a chocaholic like me would have panicked at the thought of wasting a bit of that chocolate spread; 'normal' people would just avoid making a mess and therefore they would scrape it off. That was one of the tiny wake-up calls I have been getting since the beginning of this journey...

Anyway it's midnight now and I should really go to bed because I need to wake up early tomorrow. I promise to post again soon so that I'll keep you updated especially on what I'm eating.

'Night

Mari' xxx

Week 3 and the progress of Marie...

2010-01-13T12:06:00.000-08:00

I'm at the start of my third week and I'm happy. I couldn't go for a walk outside as it was raining heavily outside but I found a way to exercise in another manner :) I vow to never eat just soup again as a main meal for a day. It made me sick and my bowels groaned. I have to plan what to eat and I still haven't thought of anything for tomorrow. I'll ask mum to defrost some chicken breast in the morning and I'll grill it as soon as I come back from school. I'll have to cook some vegetables too to go with it. I still have to get used to the idea of filling my plate with healthy vegetables instead of fries and other crappy stuff.

I find it difficult to feel confident in a room full of people when all the attention is upon me. I shy away from all things which could possibly attract attention to myself. I hate cameras and photos because they give proof of what I am working hard at: that I am F.A.T. However, I'm still that loud, bubbly girl who doesn't seem fazed by anything that happens to her. People like my outgoing character but sometimes it gets too much to bear. I'm friendly but sometimes it feels as if I would do anything to be liked by others.

This will change gradually as I regain more confidence in myself. I have lost weight before and I always felt appreciated by others and therefore I appreciated myself. One problem though...it seems that as soon as people started telling me how good I looked I started eating and binging again because I thought that the weight I lost would be gone for good. Wrong!!! I piled the weight on again and at times I piled on more than before.

This week I lost 2 pounds and I'm happy with that. Photo:

194 lb = 88.2 kg

I'm off to continue watching 'In Good Company' and reading 'The Amazing Adventures of DietGirl'

Mari' xxx

It's Saturday!!!

2010-01-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

Back to work and I still cannot gear up. I need to plan some more lessons until Easter but I'm feeling exhausted.

I have started exercising by walking for 40mins each day except on Saturdays and Sundays. I work on Saturdays and usually I spend 3 hours going up and down a flight of stairs. By the time I get home I feel knackered but today I noticed that I could sprint up the stairs when before I used to just drag my feet and really feel the pressure on my knees. I don't know if I power walk when I go for a walk because I normally walk fast and mum tells me I walk like a soldier. LOL! I guess I just power walk unconsciously...

My diet's going well but I had to have a Tunnock Caramel Log today at 3pm as I usually eat something sweet on a Saturday. It's 150calories so I had to reduce that from something else, meaning that it's cabbage soup for tonight, which I love. I had some veal with salad for lunch and being a part-time butcher gives me the advantage of making sure I get extra-lean meat.

I ordered Confessions of a DietGirl from the bookdepository and I'm still waiting for it to arrive. I read the first chapter on Amazon and I could totally relate and she even had me in stitches at some points.

It's time for me to go take a long, hot shower and prepare myself for tonight. We're going out even though there's a strong wind and it got quite cold, but hey, it's Saturday night! :D

I'll post a new message soon!

Mari' xxx

First Weekly Weigh-in...

2010-01-06T00:02:00.000-08:00

As promised, I am uploading here pics of my weight this morning and how much I lost in a week. I'm happy with the result because I never lost as much before and I still ate sensibly. Considering that during this week I had the New Year lunch and a party full of yummy finger food on Sunday, I lost a great deal. At the party I ate only one piece of each item and refused to take another one when they came round with the same thing second time round. I was also keeping an eye out for the fried food so that I could prepare myself to say no thankyou. I did take a springroll and a fried prawn but that was all. It wasn't that hard and I kept drinking glasses of water so that my stomach felt full and by the end I couldn't eat anymore.

I have to start some cardio exercise now as from tomorrow when I come back from work. I'll just dump my bag in my bedroom, put on a jogging suit and go for a walk. I haven't exercised in a while so I should take things slowly or else my muscles will scream the next day. Warming up and cooling down is important to avoid injury and muscle strain.

Mum's cooking fish soup today so I'll have that but I will take mine without rice in it. I'm enjoying cooking for myself too! On Monday I made soup from scratch without any help from anyone and it turned out fine. Although cooking is time consuming, it teaches you to plan ahead and appreciate it when you fancy snacking on something and can eat healthy food. It was hard cutting down the chocolate, and still is, but I believe that by time the cravings will go away. I was reading a book called 'Only Fat People Skip Breakfast' by Lee Janogly and it is interesting to get to know the effect sugar has on our body. I'm using honey as a natural sweetener so if I have strawberries with Vanilla Light yoghurt I just drizzle a teaspoon of natural honey on it, or else mix half a teaspoon with my green tea. Lovely!

Ok, here are the photos:

Wednesday 6th January

this is roughly 89.2kg and I lost 6.8lbs in the first week.

I never knew a blog could be so much motivation but I have put myself out there and I intend carrying on with my challenge. I'll write again soon, I promise!

Mari' xxx

2010 and the start of my challenge!

2010-01-02T07:56:00.000-08:00

Hi!

just got back from a day out with my cousin. We had loads of fun and went to watch New Moon too. I liked it but why, oh why, did Bella have to choose Eddie over Jake? pfffffffff I really felt like hugging Jacob at the end of the film :(

Anyway! I started my weightloss challenge yesterday and I already feel less bloated. Guzzling down water helps too!
Breakfast: an egg, two slices ham, some cottage cheese and 1 slice Slimex
Lunch: chicken salad
Afternoon: a slice of cabbage lasagne (cabbage leaves instead of the pasta, yummy!)
Evening: salmon + veggies

This is my starting weight: 203.2 lb = 92.3kg

I'll upload a pic of my weight each week.

I have to start inserting some exercise in my daily routine. I hate always doing the same thing so I'll be doing something different everyday. I just hope I don't end up with saggy excess skin at the end of this challenge... :/

Hope you had a nice start to the year 2010. Will write here again as soon as I can.

Love

Maria

Start of New Year 2010!

2009-12-29T14:28:00.000-08:00

Hi!

So, I've been thinking... Next year will be the year I've waited for all my life because I've always believed it would be kind of special. Now it's here and frankly I don't know what to make of it anymore. It's that time of the year when one has to decide on the resolutions for the new year and so I think it's also time to think of mine. Last year, I didn't bother with resolutions but this year I really need to put them black on white (or white on black hehe).

#1 Organise myself better at work and making sure I do my best
#2 Cut down on sweets and chocolate...they don't do my waist any favours
#3 Save money
#4 Taking more care of my skin, hair and nails (throw in some exercise with that too :P)
#5 Never get drunk

Five resolutions which will need to be tackled one by one. It seems scary but I know I can do it. The hardest one would be resolution #2 :(

I'm waiting for my last three makeup products I bought to arrive. NYX jumbo pencils in Black Bean, Dark Brown and Milk. I'll be posting some reviews about different makeup products and other beauty products I've got so, stay tuned! :D

Mari' xxx